The Lucky Star House of Celestial Pleasures: Hank Kellner
There are some things in life that just happen and we have to deal with them and others that happen because we chose a path that was definitely wrong. After being married for many years, becoming seniors and having three kids, Marge and Winston decided, well, she decided to call it quits. Leaving him was just the beginning the reasons you just won’t believe. Winston Finn is 65 and his motor still runs and his heart even after two attacks seems fine to a point. So, what does a now divorced, almost wiped out retired stockbroker decide to do? Why not explore different avenues, meet women, get it on as you might say, and learn something about the world as he goes. But, first he meets some really odd people, listens to their stories and with the help of our author decided to share them with us. But, first he needs to try out his man manliness and see if he still has what it takes to make his soldier rise and stay at attention. Meeting a woman in a bar who would like to be called Alandra the Moon Goddess, they begin his journey into a new life but not everything turns out the way he wants. A few drinks, some affection and an invitation to have some wine in her apartment, but poor Winston, just as he unwraps what he needs and she unwraps him, well sometimes things do not always stand up and the end result you can figure it out for yourself. As we meet Wally and hear his stories about his tour in Iraq and how he became an assistant Chaplain, heard confessions, never had to return to combat and the political underhandedness, the round about ways the army brass controls their men, convinces them to almost plea bargain their way to freedom or another assignment and manages to get some soldiers to do jobs that would other wise be assigned to maybe even one of them. As you hear Wally tell his story you will meet Major Dorkman, Major Derkins, hear their stories and Dr. Dockman who hears that Wally wants to read books that concern him. Trying to make them think he is a coldblooded killer, psychopath and more he hopes that his next assignment will be a trip back home but not everything goes as planned and dear Wally becomes a Chaplain and gets a real education from his mentor and boss Father Flanagan. When you hear his story, learn more about his work and find out just what it means to give a sinner Absolution, you the reader will have to decide if you too want to be, How does it put it: A conversion extraordinaire, as Wally learns that he is now a Catholic Chaplain even though he was Unitarian. Hearing confessions, giving penance and absolution he heard from murders, rapists, adulterers and more hoping to find his way to freedom. When the story ends we find ourselves in the present as Wally, really shows his metal when the service manager fixing his car tries to rip him off and the author allows readers to find out about Winston and shares his tour in Vietnam. After reading some of these accounts and stories the reader might ask this basic question: FACT OR FICTION! But, first find out why he went to jail for a crime that was committed by someone else. Find out why he was forced to plea bargain and plead guilty and find out why his three sons would not even help him make bail or take time to talk with him. Listen to his cellmate tell a story that will cause chills throughout your body as we learn about a flight attendant, her captivity, a man named Califa Calipafa, the health care system in his country, medical treatment and the corruption this Califa is allowed to perpetrate on his people, the money he has, the accounts he uses and the fact that one prisoner named Millicent will now be hired as his financial advisor and much more in order to escape rape, death and who knows what else.
But, the story is just beginning as we meet a young woman named Liberty Belle whose stories will either make you say: Are you kidding, is this for real or can these things really happen? Imagine just meeting someone and deciding to go off together sight unseen. Liberty claims to be a former army nurse and flight attendant but I would be remiss if I did not tell you about what she claims happened to her as a result of being raped and attacked. But first what happens when Winston goes to jail and how does he meet her: Believe it or not, no this is not a Ripley’s believe it or not: He claims that he was arrested and had to go before a judge and plead guilty for something she never did and then she would have her sentence suspended. When rapist is forgiven because the school system is at fault suffering from UDS, Urban Denial Syndrome, you being to wonder just where our taxes are going, what really happens in our courts and just how corrupt they might be as the cops decide who goes to jail, why some are or are not arrested and the rest you have to read for yourself. As Liberty and Winston find their way to a burger joint and you will now learn more about her, her life and how she escaped from The Lucky Star Hose of Celestial Pleasures and one General gets more than he pays for in more ways than one. Lying, cheating, betrayals, corruption and much more in this version of what she claims happened to her while in the service. Sexual harassment pushed you might say under the bed and remain between the sheets, officers that work in conjunction with each other and force women to do unspeakable things. Friends that betray you and lies that are told and a plane ride that would change it all. But, when Liberty gets a job working as a nurse in Madame Ling’s establishment, revenge is more than just sweet, as we now will meet the Parkway Shooter and then the Kosher Delicatessen Thief and an English teacher named Helen Milston. As we hear poor Helen’s story it makes you wonder what really goes on in our schools as a student’s simple question turns into more when the poetry she explains is quite graphic in some ways and although it was just her interpretation of the poem the subject matter well you decide when she is wrongly accused of something and poor Helen has to resort to being a thief.
Sometimes people try hard to follow a clean life but when circumstances arise well, Olivia Stockton spent her whole life helping her mother and never wavering from acting with morals and scruples. But, sometimes our hormones win out and Olivia decided to allow Billie Bob the fruit of her loom. But things did not turn out the way she expected and her parents ejected her, her boyfriend spurned her and poor Olivia found her way to The Jesus Loves You Rest Home Shelter where she was provided with everything she needed until she wasn’t. Ejected again after having her child, giving it up for adoption she made her way to Climax, Virginia, (for real) and found a job as a housekeeper until she lost it. Things did not go well for her and another stay at the rest home until she had her children and then things turned sour for poor Olivia. When you hear her story from a man named Ted you will understand what happens when a woman is Spermed: deciding to get even with all men dear Olivia created and organized The Society for the Prevention of Erotic Relationships with Males: or AKA Sperm.
But, Liberty and Winston meet many other people along the way like Jane Johnston who understands and teaches readers the meaning of prejudice. Winston’s trip to Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrows and his dealings with several hospitals, losing his credit cards, ID’s and being turned down for medical care even though he was wounded. Hospitals are supposed to treat the sick except when they create their own loopholes and a person has no means of paying them. Claiming they have no beds or no new patients people flounder, find their way to other hospitals and pray they don’t die on the way. This story will open your eyes real wide to what goes on behind the curtains in a hospital room!
Winston and Libby only want to experience the world and wind up at a gas station where they meet three terrorists who are foreign guests of a community college. They decide to kidnap our two travelers, place them in a cellar but our clever Libby has other things on her mind and the end result is hilarious. Takes on the media, hospital care, medical examiner’s office, the army, officers, rip offs, warranties that are not needed, the school system and teaching the wrong poems, just who gets poetic justice and who has more lessons to learn. When Libby takes on the terrorists watch what happens. Will they escape or will they become slaves of The Anointed One.
From the police, to the courts, to businesses and more author Hank Kellner tells it in his own way: outlandish he states in the opening, politically incorrect and definitely thought provoking as each story is told by the character in their own voice as these poor people struggle for survival in world filled with corruption, betrayals, deceit and lies. This is one book that will definitely make you wonder: Real or Imaginary?
Fran Lewis: Reviewer