Naked and Transparent: Vladimire Calizte, LMHC, CRC
Do you know yourself as a person? What is your inner most desires, wants and needs? WHO ARE YOU? What types of people do you enjoy being with? Are you afraid to be alone? These are just some of the questions asked as you open this resource, experience the journey and take it to finding yourself. “Honesty is the path to true self-awareness, but it requires courage to face what you fear or find difficult to accept.”
The first step as the author beings is to find the Power of Clarity and who you are. Asking readers to answer 30 questions will begin your journey into understanding your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and qualities. Starting with thinking back to when you were twelve. How would someone who knew you at that age describe you? She continues with three things you know now about yourself and many other questions which in order to review or tell readers what I learned from reading this book had to answer the questions myself. I think the most revealing or telling questions were What things from my past influence me right now and What should I do be doing more of? Three more that really were quite interesting and started me thinking
more : What would life be like if nothing was holding me back? I am true to myself in the following situations? Not true in others! At the end of this year, what one accomplishment would bring the greatest joy and satisfaction. That one I will answer: to complete another novel, to create three more editions of my magazine and to help my family when needed.
I think the most difficult chapter comes when anyone has to realize that “shame involves a sense of being wrong,” learning how to release your shame and understanding that “real shame is not as much about the deed you committed as about thinking something internal must have caused you to commit such a shameful act.” Within this chapter the author defines it more and you the reader are asked to answer questions that will reflect what causes you shame, how you overcame it and an exercise on the last page of the chapter which will bring it all to light more clearly. Chapter 3 focuses on putting a name to your wound and ways to heal. Dealing with emotional as well as physical pain and asking questions such as “ What steps have you taken toward applying the correct treatment or What hidden issues or wound do you need to identify? In Chapter four self-awareness takes the stage and the chapter focuses on that concept and how you “gain greater insight into yourself as an individual and the relationships you form.” Being by saying: I LOVE MYSELF! Keep saying this and then read the many bullets on page 54 helping you the reader understand as she states in the first one: When we know ourselves, we no longer need to pretend. The rest you need to learn for yourself as you continue the journey. Questions that will help you are added once again and the one that I found most telling is not a question but a thought: It’s hard to consider my needs as a priority and I think about my flaws, I feel overwhelmingly disgusted or angry. Just two that I am sharing with you.
Chapter five deals with getting comfortable with vulnerability and the questions asked focus on when was the last time you felt vulnerable and what makes you feel that way? Chapter 6 strikes a great chord with me as many times a new person that you meet might remind you of something in your past or an issue in your past that might cause you to deal with an old relationship through your current one. This is why it is “ so important to be self-aware.” Reminding readers that you need to know the person you are responding to: Past or present. Learn more when reading the rest of the chapter. Letters to her father is the most powerful chapter as the author shares many of her life’s experiences and ask you the reader whether you can identity with any of them. The first deal with how her father never showed up for a photo session and how sad she felt when he did not and never came. The letter will bring tears to your eyes and the question is quite compelling. The second letter is titled What Life was Like Without You, and expressing in writing and seeing her own emotions on paper would definitely bring the situation to light as she tells how it felt never to feel good enough for him. Why she never spoke of him to her friends and how she would have liked to have had him in her life. Missing him when she earned straight A’s and missing him when she went on her first date. Letter three: Feeling robbed of my girlhood. There are fifteen in all each dealing with a different emotion that the author shares but the most powerful one is the last where she begins with: I FORGIVE YOU VLADIMIRE! Being able to write to herself, forgive herself and allowing her father’s absence to bring her to the brink “ of self-destruction: NO MORE!” read the rest and understand that you can do the same. Self-awareness allowed her to release her past and the wounds and heal from the inside out. Sharing her letters and allowing readers to understand how she used and implemented what she wants others to use and implement in creating better and stronger relationships gives this resource much more credibility. The final chapters focus on Tips on How to Attract your ideal partner after becoming self-aware. Checking your motives and the type of relationship you want and asking yourself the many questions on page 99 such as: How do you handle anger or What are some of your pet peeves? Tip 3: Get into your life. Know that you are already complete. There are many more tips that you can read and the final two chapters focus on how not knowing yourself is holding you back in your relationships and questions on page 109 that you can ask and answer yourself. Added in she includes 25 things she hopes you will come away with after reading this book. The rest you need to read for yourself and the conclusion includes her website, her phone number and resources.
Read the book and answer the questions and you too will find that you have been empowered with six vital tools for knowing yourself and attracting healthy relationships. Do you feel broken or lost? Read the book to find your way to a healthy relationship but first you need to find yourself and who you are!
These are my thoughts and my review is honest, straightforward and stands as written.
Fran Lewis: Reviewer