‘My Prison Without Bars…The Journey of a Damaged Woman: Taylor Fulks
Parents are supposed to nurture and love their children and protect them from predators and anyone that would endanger them. But, what happens when a three-year-old child who is helpless, afraid and terrified of the one man who claims he loves her learns the real meaning of hate, fear, control and a truly sick definition of love. How was she supposed to understand what this demented and sick man was doing to her? How could her mother not notice the change in her behavior? Living within the confines of her room and the four walls that she felt closed her in, Taylor Fulks realized that she had no where to go. Whether living in a prison cell without a lock and key or hiding within herself and trying to block out what was being done to her how could a young child understand and fight back when being abused in threatened? When her mother learned she was pregnant with her why did the man named Gerald or her father not care? What happens when another takes his place and decides to take control of more than just her actions but her body too? As Taylor learns the true meaning of abuse both verbally and physically she graphically describes every action, touch and horror that was inflicted upon her by the man she was forced to call Daddy! With her mother turning a blind eye and Taylor being forced to state she wanted to remain with him when her mom went to work or school, she was left at his mercy and had to bare the brunt of his actions and the end result would change her in more ways than one. Taylor throughout the book seems to be searching for her inner self and to find a way to be cared for and loved. Relationships come easy to her but solid ones do not. Finding different boys and young men who are attracted to her was not difficult but understanding their motives and true feelings often turned tragic. One solid relationship that she thought would change the tide was with a young boy named Kevin who pretended to be religious, have moral fiber and when drunk and driving Taylor learns more than just the real meaning of betrayal. Losing your self-esteem, being the object of someone’s pleasure for his or her own purposes is one theme that comes through loud and clear. Understanding that she is worth more than being someone’s object of lust is something that would take her time to learn. Teens are cruel, raped, abused, cheated on and yet at times rescued this book provides many lessons that young adults and adults can learn. When beaten and abused at the baseball diamond and humiliated by classmates who stood by and watched the reader gets the full understanding of just how mean and cruel teens can be. After many unsuccessful relationships Taylor finally goes to college and gets a job in a hospital where she meets Tony. However, from the start red flags should have gone up, as she seemed to be searching for a sole mate and hopefully finds someone to be just hers. But, when meeting his mother and listening to her ridicule of Taylor something within her should have made her walk away. When his father requests her presence for a weekend and he does not turn up for two days that too should have alerted her that something was wrong. The abuse, manipulations, lies and betrayals increase with time.
Taylor went through many relationships and meeting Tony proved to be more than she expected. Their up and down courtship was anything but normal and the signs that this was a mistake came front and center but were often pushed aside. When meeting his mother Isabelle she was blindsided by her attitude when she came roaring down on her letting her know her true feelings and Taylor realizing she just might be fighting more than a losing battle. With a mother of her own that was self-centered and unconcerned about her, a father who could care less and a future mother-in-law from the deepest pits of you know where, it is amazing that Taylor decided to continue on with Tony and did not leave as she did once before. Two families that most would not want to be a part of with Mark, Tony’s father having nightmares and living out his personal fears since coming back from Vietnam and trying to find some happy medium what happens will shock readers even more.
But, the end result of a medical conference will compel readers to understand what happens when Taylor sees someone from her past, gets drunk and awakens to a horror she will never forget. Being blamed for someone else’s mistakes the abuse and the fears that she endures are real and her only way out is to fight.
Can she find a way to take the darkness and bring out the light? Marrying Tony and the odd wedding and the reaction of so many to her and their marriage will make you wonder if she wanted to just be cared and married or just didn’t care about her own self-worth or life. Marrying Tony and then his father’s murder by his girlfriend should have once again proved to her that his allegiance and love was not to her but with his own selfish needs. When his estate came into question Tony wanted Taylor to sign off on certain things not giving her access to any money yet signing a loan in order to stop his father’s girlfriend from getting his money or property for their son. How can you live in the light when you feel ashamed of who you are and want to hide behind your own secrets and fears.
Find out how she fought back, takes control of her life and has the courage to forge ahead and fight to become the person she wants to be. Reliving her nightmares and then coming face to face with someone who wanted to cause her more pain Taylor finally realizes where her life has to go, how to deal with a mother who knew what her husband was inflicting on her own daughter yet turned more than one blind eye and the abuses she withstood from Tony, his mother and others. Finding her own way into a profession that would be more than rewarding but lifesaving, Taylor has managed to soar. With two beautiful daughters and her own rules for dealing with her marriage and finding her way back to taking control of her life, finances and career Taylor Fulks sets the bar for others who need to understand that you too can break out of your own prison, fight your way back to where the darkness fades and the sun shines brightly. Listening to her words, her revelations and her desires and explaining to Tony how their future would go, you understand that this book, her thoughts and her final revelations can help others that have been victimized by the people that are supposed to love them. Parents are supposed to protect their children except when they are nearsighted and selfish and don’t. Children need to feel they have someone to hear their thoughts and take away the tears and the fear when things frighten them except when they don’t. Hear her words, relive her nightmares and learn what happens when she finally realizes that things are not her fault, her mother’s anger at her unfounded, excuses that masked many truths and a woman freed from the bars that held her. Class loads, studying and finally reaching her goal to become a Nurse but not just any type of nurse one that specializes on Open Heart Surgery. Taylor Fulks is a definite inspiration for anyone that has been taken down, beaten both physically and verbally and has made up her mind that life right now and forever will be barrier free.
Fran Lewis: Just reviews