Behind These Closed Doors: Michelle Carter-Douglass
Life hands each one of us many challenges, obstacles and roadblocks that we have to find a way to circumvent and get around. At times we feel despair, discouraged and the weight of the world seems to be on hour narrow shoulders pushing dragging us down. But, what happens when from the bad something miraculous happens and you lift yourself up, create a world that revolves around those who love you and need you and the dark cloud that has been hanging over your entire body lifts and the sun shines brightly and the clouds drift away?
Some memoirs are told through the eyes of one person who shares his/her life, dreams, aspirations and struggles in a 300-page book. Within the pages of this unique and heartfelt account of the life of Michelle Carter-Douglass she opens her heart to readers, speaks frankly about being abused, surviving many sad times, losing a child which is devastating and the love she shares with her other children. The letters in poem form to each child will explain the joy, pride and happiness having successfully brought up children that are bright, educated and believe in God and his miracles.
The poems reflect her life and journey and being with From Monroe Street to Spiritual Mansions which focuses on reflecting back in memories to her mother getting ready for work, putting food on the table, the author and her sister home from school. She continues with more reflections from the past and that Father God, why in my mind, I quote; and I stuck on this page in my life. Her mother was a single parent and even poor people have dreams She continues to talk about the single mother had strong parents and concludes with her mother teaching her right from wrong. Her mom taught from her mom and both daughters spiritually committed to their God. “From Monroe Street 119.5: I climb to this spiritual mansion with continued striving success.
Who would have thought? Two little girls born to Patricia Anne would come up grand.
She continues with a Letter to God explaining why for so many days she seemed lost and she continues with what God means to her and finishes with Father: You have been there for me I love and thank you.
Her short words to her daughters followed by The Ticking of My clock and a special poem to Arlessa.
She describes her before she was born to the person she is today filled with talent, beautiful and smart. Telling her what all parents should tell their daughters and son to hold her head up high and shine!
Brialan is special to her and to me after reading his stories and poems, He is smart, bright and will go far in life and yes Brialan you do have a purpose in life as the author explains that he is an image of God and his reflection shines as bright as the universe’s stars. Patrick is next and he graduated high school and he too as the first born, as all first-born children should understand no one can dim your star and he will continue to shine. Each poem told from the heart of the author is an inspiration to other mothers to express how they feel to their children letting them know they are loved. Four children should grow and one that she lost Katy Angel you need to read that one for yourself as my tears are flowing. There are so many poems that I cannot spotlight all of them but one that is vital is titled Goodbye to Insecurity. She was abused and has managed to rise above her fears and sadness and even does not despise or hate this person. This takes love, courage and forgiveness and she sends her gratitude for the lessons she learned and what her precious children have been through and more. Reader through her poetry and words she opens her windows and thus her doors. Adversity, Envy and Jealousy are the focus of the next poem where she addresses each one and her final understanding that she is vision free from animosity, she no longer invites any one of these three to her table. To all three she closes her doors. The Emergence of Michelle Denise is a powerful poem that I will let you read to understand and embrace her message as she comes to terms with her biological father and learning her own self-worth. Second Wind and how through God she gains her second wind is followed by My Beliefs, which focuses her as a little girl, dark chocolate skin tone what happens in the schoolyard as she is criticized, ostracized and bullied. How she overcomes it and more. I, as grown woman, appreciate forgiveness: POWERFUL!
The final poem I will spotlight is Storm Whisperer which encompasses and embraces everything she has gone through in life: she overcame abuse, bullying, domestic violence, victimization, character assassination and she became tired of fighting and battling and dealing with hate, liars and more. Realizing that some need forgiveness even her father and even he can change: Behind closed doors, in that tiny room and Pray! Watch and enjoy the transformation matinee.
You can feel the emotional upheavals, you can hear her words filled with anger at times, hope, fear and finally the realization that as she states in the final poem: “In this melody; everything wrong becomes right: Closing my eyes!
Read this heartfelt book. Explore your own emotions and go back in time along with Michelle Carter Douglass and understand the true meaning of prayer, love of God, hope, survival, peace and finally her painful journey from pain to emotional freedom that she learned Behind Closed Doors and she opened hers to you, to me and the world. In her own words: the Lord’s lifelines became invisible to me. So, over the course of seven months I began rebuilding my spirit. ! Here’s to courage, love and inspiration. Thank you for sharing these poems with me and with others.
Fran Lewis: Just reviews/MJ magazine