reviewed for book pleasures
The author is Cindy Collins
The publisher is Indomitable Press
Children are born to parents and are supposed to be nurtured and protected. Their lives should be filled with smiles, hugs, love and opportunities to grow. What happens when two parents are so callus, unfeeling, uncaring and more than negligent? How does a young child cope with family abuse, hidden truths she’s supposed to keep tucked away, parents that don’t care about her safety and well being, she becomes a breeding ground for Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a story that will open your eyes to what needed to be done at the time and the fears she faced even when she spoke out and asked for help.
Hearing her voice and experiencing her abuse is more than shocking it’s criminal. A mother who justifies her own misguided parenting, forcing her daughter into thinking the negative things she experiences was her own fault. It’s all about appearances and false images as the author relates what happened in school, bullies, berating and asking for help, speaking out and all going to deaf ears. Anyone of her neighbors that informed her parents that they’re children needed guidance and help were immediately forbidden to ever see or talk with them again. Her grandparents were off limits and her only friend tipped from her side. School was a nightmare and the harassment even worse forcing her to hide in the bathroom to eat lunch. Good that was more than expired and a mother who could care less if she’s sick and a brother who was a thief and dud jail time.
Her sanity in question as her mother tried to make her believe that she was imagining things or gaslighting her. Life was a constant battle for survival and even having to get proper medical care irked her mother who presented her with a huge bill for daring to see an adult doctor for a problem she had in the past. Nightly and daily tortures and lying and telling her she was imaging things that never happened. Dressing goth and trying to define herself , dealing with a brother that was lethal at times and dating Chuck for too long. Just wanting to be accepted, loved and cared for but this never happened. How no one reported this mother for her abuse and how she hit away with it is frightening.
Cindy tells her story in her own words each chapter of her life created with honesty and vividly told. Greg was her mainstay for a while and he brought her out of the streets and into his home and heart. While her mother invented lies about her physical and mental health including her own fabrications and lies drawing the attention to herself. Always having to be in the limelight and even ignoring her accomplishments, her mother was never her champion in life. Greg was great yet she walked away from him restless and unsettled. Drugs and alcohol were her mainstay and yet somehow she survived you wonder how. Added in she enrolled in school and took a server’s job in the Olive Garden which ad you continue reading her journey saved her life and eventually after buying her own home saving the lives of others. Her home became the sanctuary for lost souls you might say and even though she had PTSD and borderline personality disorder eventually she met Darrin. Life has handed her years of tough times and no one had the guts to take down her mom until Darrin. As you get to know her mom and look really hard within her you’ll wonder if she was in competition for attention that Cindy would have gotten from others has she not gaslighted her.
As her story is really never ending we learn about how she has to deal trying time social security disability and the hard road she has to take. Definitions fo not always define who and what you are dealing with and hearing voices, taking to others in her head and being borderline personality disorder brings more than its own difficulties and mental stress. Lessons are learned, Hope takes time and faith in herself and support from outside sources might help her through but only Cindy can soar and rise to every occasion, find a job she feels secure in and maybe permanent but most of all look in the mirror and see the that you have Darrin, friends and after many other champions cheering you on a knowing you will succeed. Look at your face in the mirror and be proud of who you are looking back. This disorder is something you are dealing with and getting help for don’t let it continue to define who you are. This is a must read for others dealing with this disorder and other mental health issues.