Until I find you
Your eyes are often said to be the gateway to the world and how you visualize and see it. What happens when that is taken away from you and you have depended on your other four senses to live? Rebecca is blind and she is the mother of a small child who seems at times to be falling apart and facing one crisis after another. Living alone and having to take care of a young child she often counts on her friends for support. But odd things are happening, and you begin to wonder if she is losing it or if someone is out to gaslight her and make her think she is losing her mind. Did she leave the door unlocked? What about the moved Pack n’ Play and the footsteps on the monitor plus sensing someone was watching her and the party. Was she paranoid or did these things happen? Her friend Jessica phones the police who come and do a walk through of her apartment and find that no one broke in. It happens again and you get the feeling that someone is out to take away her freedom or more?
Things get really tense after she meets with her friends, learns what happens when Crystal’s daughter decides to light a fire to her father’s effects causing her mother to fire the nanny who had a part in what she did and tried covering for her daughter. It is at this point you wonder what is wrong with Savi and just what else she might have done.
Office Topper has been to her house three times and she decides to contact Jake who promises to help her through but working Homicide he might be called away. When insisting that her friend Jess come over and she thinks the child in the crib is Jackson you wonder if she really sees him as Jackson or something else is going on. She might not be able to see but the way this child is acting and responding to things she does with her son alerts readers to the fact that this is not Jackson, and someone is out to destroy her but who and why?
Crystal and her other friends have a nanny that helps with their children, but you wonder if their choices are the right ones. Her daughter loves the cello and enjoys playing so how does she get hurt and the result you wonder if her friend Pam or nanny are really taking care of her daughter or making it worse? Why does she not take the offer of a patrol car in front of her house for a few days? Why does she turn down help?
When leaving her son with her friend Jess she must get him because her friend must get her husband. Going to grief therapy she tells the doctor about Jake, a man from her past and she encourages her to meet with him will that work out?
Complications are there as Jake tries to get her case expedited but Office Toby has orders from the chief and for some reason they are not sure whether to believe her or not. There are no missing children reported in Elmhurst or anywhere that they have found. But this child is not hers and when she goes to the hospital to try and get a footprint of this child the machine is being recalled as well as in the other hospital where Jackson was born. No record of the footprint can be found, and she is back at square one. Hoping to research more about this machine and how she can get the information she needs; she decides to attend the parade with her friends and once again Crystal is faced with another episode that her daughter creates. Just why is her daughter so bent on making life difficult and why is she focused on Rebecca ? Added in we meet many of the other mothers and Savi’s behavior is odd, but will Crystal realize that she needs help?
At times Rebecca seems disoriented, refuses the help of her friends and it is surprising that the authorities allowed her to care for a child that is not hers. Lying has become something she is becoming good at to make sure that she gets what she wants. No one seems to believe her that the child she has is not hers. Hoping to get his footprint she and Jake run into dead ends until someone finally comes to her aid. But will they find out the truth?
Meeting someone in the park she thinks the person has something that belongs to her son but refuses to admit it. Her friends try to rally around her but at times her behavior is erratic, and her actions cause her to have many accidents leading you to wonder if she should even be taking care of a child. Jake tries to comfort her, but she pushes people away and although she has limitations at times she refuses to understand that it is okay to ask for help.
Just where is Jackson and why is Crystal not facing the fact that her daughter has been hiding things that belonged to her late husband. That she purposely torched his personal effects, and she seems more attached to her nanny than her. Resentment of her mother’s job and trying to make ends meet seems to come into play. Crystal is complex and so are all the friends and each one seems to have secrets they do not want revealed.
Just where is Jackson? Could he be there hidden in plain sight?
When her friends decide to create a vigil to help her find her son something happens that will shock readers. Rebecca has many accidents and falls so they think that is why she is imagining that the child in the crib is not hers. An incident during the vigil changes it all, something about one of her friends alerts her and then she can get the identification of the child she has been caring for and this is where it gets interesting as it links to someone close to her but why? The final scenes are dramatic, the reveal about what and who took her son and why is both sad, tragic and yet in a sense heartbreaking. The truths come out and Rebecca for some reason just wants it to be pushed aside and finally over as she must determine whether to press charges, forgive, let it go or something else. Her life has been turned upside; can she forgive those that made it happen? This is a story about forgiveness, the love a mother for her child, persistence, answers, understanding and dealing with a disability that would hamper most but not her. Rebecca must make an important life changing decision not just for herself but for 2 others. Life is hard at times but there is nothing as precious as the love of a mother. Rebecca’s words hold hard and fast to Jackson she would keep her promise: UNTIL I FIND YOU!
Fran Lewis : Just reviews